Cut down on the Alfredo Sauce

Majestic, If Nothing Else.

2011-03-15T03:11:00.007-04:00

A friend of mine helped me get my hands on a gameboy color emulator and a dozen or so roms last year. This was possibly the single worst blow to what remained of my work ethic, until now. Now, steam is making a valiant effort to claim that title. Just a couple days ago, I decided to download the demo for Magicka. I'd heard about the game from another friend, and really wanted to try it out. I could go on about how I feel about Magicka, but the point is, steam threw some random gaming news at me automatically when I logged in, and I did just what they wanted. I looked at it. And I saw something. Majesty 2 was apparently 80% off for the next 2 days.

Now, I remember the original Majesty with great fondness. My brothers and I played it for many an hour on our family's old imac desktop back in the day. The campaign missions ranged nicely in difficulty, and had surprising replay value (especially months later). The custom maps had great variety (since you could mix and match starting buildings, baddie lair theme, wandering monsters, etc). By placing arbitrary restrictions on ourselves, like using only warriors and mages, or no 2nd tier priests, we extended the enjoyment even further. Basically, original Majesty was a defining part of my formative gaming years (god I feel old now) and I absolutely loved it.

Enter Majesty 2. My expectations were high, given just how long it'd been since Majesty 1 was released, and although Majesty 2 isn't on the cutting edge, it looked like a fairly recent release. The trailers looked pretty, although some potential scale problems had me worried (more on that in a bit). So I buy and download it, and the kingmaker's expansion, because hey, they're only $6. I've been playing them for a couple days now, and I've gotten through about 7 campaign levels, plus the first in kingmaker's. So here are my thoughts:

*sigh*. Overall, I'm not sure it's actually any better than the original at all. Sure it's enjoyable, but when I'm playing I get an urge to just play the first one again. Let's go with a pro/con list, shall we?

Pros:
-Buildings look much nicer now. Full 3D is undeniably pretty, and the destruction animations are extremely smooth. Watching an opposing palace fall to pieces is extremely satisfying.
-Fully 3D. I do enjoy spinning my view and zooming to admire my heroes, who now get skin upgrades at levels 5 and 10.
-Height in terrain. There are actually mountains now, not just flat land. The rivers are nicer too (don't think we even had them before, at least not really).
-Level 2 trading posts defend themselves. 'Bout frakking time, guardhouses get expensive fast.
-Magical Bazaar. Cool 2nd tier marketplace, nice for later game improvements. I never really used the training grounds that much before anyway, so this is a nice change.
-Graveyards let you resurrect heroes without any temples. I'm only ok with this because the cost scales proportionally to level. It does take a little too much sting out of losing a really good hero, which used to be a big deal.
-Special attacks for classes other than mage. Definitely nice, and I like that they scale with damage. Sorta ok with upgrading by guild, instead of the previous library system. Haven't decided which I prefer yet, but I don't hate either for sure.

Cons:
-3D. Ok yeah it's cool, but I don't actually use it in game. It throws off my internal map of what's where, and isn't actually helpful.
-Game pace. Somehow, it feels faster. Can't quite put my finger on it, but I don't feel like I actually have time to admire my pretty heroes and buildings and terrain. Sad face.
-Mountain ranges absolutely kill the camera. It's annoying.
-Scale. If you zoom in enough to actually differentiate your warriors and rouges, or your rangers from theirs, you can barely fit your palace in the screen. If you zoom out enough to see a useful amount of your kingdom, everyone looks like ants. I miss being able to scroll over a battle and get a sense of how many combatants there were on each side without having to think at all.
-User interface. Seriously, what the fuck? It feels cluttered, I get giant menus all over everything, and there's no minimap hero tracker. It's the scale issue, but in reverse: everything is too big, and space isn't conserved at all. Before, we could see plenty of the kingdom, we got selection info, building command card, minimap, hero tracker, and tabs on the info for stats. Now, we've lost the hero tracker, and info tabs like stats or graveyard resurrection take up almost half your useful space in the main view. AND, the right third is lost to the hero/party list, unless you get rid of it, but then it stops making up for losing the hero tracker, so it's a lose-lose.
-Selecting heroes. So I'm trying to heal a high level warrior to save his life. Firstly, I can't heal him directly from the main view, but whatever because he's too small to click on reliably anyway, and I don't want to heal his attackers by accident. He's in a party, so I select that (he's the leader) and try to heal his portrait. No dice. I get to his normal selection page, but lose my healing icon, and also he's still about to die. Now I can heal him by clicking his face, but of course the fireballs have long since caught up to his out of shape ass, and he's dead. Ugh.
-Temples restricted to specific build sites. I'm sorta ok with this, in that the now 3rd tier priests are much more powerful, but it ends up just restricting the heroes you can use. You've got maybe a single temple in most levels, which is 2 powerful heroes, and otherwise you're stuck with 5 classes and 2 races. Original majesty had 4 basic classes, 3 races, 2 or 3 priests (out of 7, thanks to conflicting temples) and possibly an extra special fighter class. So we've gone from an average of around 9 classes, to 6, plus sorta a 7th. And of the 9 you had in original, there were a bunch of different combinations. Now, you've got to choose between elves and dwarves, and which temple you'll use (unless it's just chosen for you, which is often the case).
-Custom maps. No setup versatility, they're just campaign missions without a voiceover or the hall of lords. The replay value that's been lost breaks my scales. Yay, we have survival levels now, but I was never a huge fan of those anyway. And then there's what, maybe 6 other missions? 8? C'mon, you even stepped down from 30 campaign missions to 14. You spent so much time on the game, you couldn't make another dozen decent custom maps? I don't need enemy rangers, a giant ogre, and a plot wizard in each, just let me sandbox some and I'll amuse myself.

Ok, enough ranting on that. So overall, while there are some nice improvements to some things, there were a lot of fundamentals that they got right the first time and then broke. Most of all, selecting heroes and being able to see them. I can't care much about them individually anymore, because I can't tell who or where they are. It's too much city planning and strategy, and not enough living vicariously through your mighty soldiers. I'll keep playing Majesty 2, and we'll see if I warm up to it some more, but I might just go back to the original soon unless there's some significant turnaround. Also, who would've thought mages could feel like they die even faster and dumber than before? Wow.

Get It Right the Second Time

2009-09-28T12:35:00.002-04:00

I now happily reside next door to a SNES. My life has improved greatly from its presence. This said, I now have a small beef with nintendo:

Original Mario Kart sucks. It's really just terrible. The controls feel clunky and ineffective, battle mode is absolutely abysmal, and it's generally just painful to play. Now, granted, I am being a little quick to judge, given I've only played it once, but the experience was quite powerful. I will give the game credit in that it has all of the fundamentals that were so well executed in 'Kart 64, so as a lousy version 1 that evolved into something beautiful, the game is great.

As a game, it is just straight up bad.

Super Mario Bros, on the other hand, should be a religious experience for me. More on that as details become available, but this week is looking unfriendly, so don't expect anything until the weekend at the earliest.

∆

2009-07-18T23:49:00.002-04:00

So remember that time? Yeah... that was a good time.

So diddy kong racing adventure two hovercraft is almost done forever. I say we just do it and never look back. Except that now we're done racing for the night, and I've only just started writing this, so I think it's safe to say this is a disappointing comeback.

Try to swallow your surprise.

More to follow, once I get the vector from victor.

Catfighting, circa 2325

2009-01-14T21:58:00.002-05:00

First, a history lesson:

Way back, ages past, OSK and j_vert tried a new game out for size (no idea where I was at the time, but if you ask them, the response would probably be "somewhere lame"). They went for Metroid Prime, on ye olde gamecube. Turns out the in-game map isn't bad, but j_vert's internal mapping abilities left them mostly lost (sorry man, truth hurts).

After this failed attempt, OSK revisited the game with myself months later. We beat and bludgeoned our way through about 20-25% of the game before hitting a wall. We spent a good amount of time wandering around with no idea of where to go before giving up and moving on. And so metroid remained until just recently.

Now, I've been taking solo hits at it in my spare time. A few days ago, I finally passed the high water mark of the koopon-OSK team, and managed to steam ahead. The exploration and adventure elements have really been great so far, and the difficulty has been easy enough this time through that I've been able to use a pretty cavalier attitude towards health and saving. No longer. I finally reached a section that has a succession of actually difficult encounters, all with net loss of health and annoyingly effective enemies. So, today I've died 3 times without reaching a new save point. The hardcore gamer in me is thrilled- perfect chance to get some real gaming done. But the casual gamer in me is disappointed. It's been really nice, just kinda cruising through things, nothing so difficult as to really frustrate me (j_verts should appreciate this, considering how he does rts).

So yeah, I figured I'd let y'all know what's been happening on this, and I think I might keep this up, especially if the difficulty keeps increasing. Also if my theory about red energy balls is true (they were totally +50 in the beginning, not +20. I swear!).

And one last thing: anyone know what breaks benezidium? It's frakking EVERYWHERE. ugh.

It's Okay, it's okay, it's okay

2008-12-27T01:42:00.006-05:00

Fuck blue coins. OSK is taking forever on them. Granted, they're really hard to find, and it isn't a negative reflection on his mario skills, but still. It's really frustrating. But really.

Otherwise, my 64 runs take basically 30 seconds, so I'm spending a lot of time zoned out and doing nothing. Not enough blogging though. Ah well.
jvert is trying a cosmic race again. It didn't go so well the first time, but he's doing much better and... wow... talk about fateful. He just got it while I wrote that sentence. I gotta mention what's happening in real time in this blog more often.

Subliminal Messages

2008-12-22T03:01:00.007-05:00

Mario sunshine is clearly a secret mind-control device being used by those racist against everything blue. They are training us all to instinctively destroy anything blue, like birds and butterflies. But let it be known: I'm onto them.

In other news, in addition to invisible block technology, I could really use some of that launch star technology. Or the hover pack. But mostly, the warp pipes. Unless they don't make the sound, then I wouldn't want them.

Further evidence of the genocidal nature of sunshine:

I rest my case.

Triple Threat

2008-12-22T02:13:00.004-05:00

Well, this blog is officially revived, if only for one sake: the simultaneous 120 star runs in galaxy, 64, and sunshine. That's right, myself, OSK, and j_vert are each doing all 120 stars of 64, sunshine, and galaxy, respectively. It is, needless to say, awesome.

However, since I'm running original, I've got a good deal more down time than the rest of them. So, I'll be spending some of that time (by which I mean most) writing random shit here.

So, we have roughly 20 stars each right now, which is a good chunk of the easy stuff in each game. 64-wise, I'm still plowing through the easy first levels, so no worries for speed there. Galaxy, I don't know as well concerning the time consumption curve (a really bad way to word that), so no idea when that'll ramp up. Probly not for a bit longer, but soon. Sunshine, OSK is done with bianco hills, and some of the plaza, but he's spent enough hours in his life on mario, so I've got no worries at all about his speed. Looks like vert has the most pressure... poor guy. He hasn't even finished galaxy yet. Time for a commitment, space cowboy.

Allright, gotta wrap this up: 19-21 are waiting for me. Oh wait, I have no concept of responsibility for quality control here. Guess I can just end it then. On a drawn out clichéd group of sentences involving self reference. Yeah.

Take this Bowser! ... whif

2008-06-13T12:08:00.002-04:00

So I'm sick and feel like crap, and I don't have much time before a plague of boxes is visited upon myself, but this needs to be said.

I suck at the bowser level. Which one you ask? The first. It was painful to watch myself do it. I actually felt bad for the people watching me do it, because the secondhand embarrassment and shame must have been pretty hard to handle. Had they politely left until it was over, I would have understood.
Anyway, my psuedo-speed run is not completely ruined, nor has OSK overtaken me for good, provided that I pwn the later stuff. Wet-Dry world has me worried though... oh and everything on the floor above it. *sigh*

Back to the grindstone. God I should be training...

More to come later.

May the Force be with your Lightsaber.

2008-06-02T13:06:00.003-04:00

So I recently returned to Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast after not touching it for god only knows how long. Knowing, or at least vaguely remembering parts of the puzzles definetly makes the whole game go by faster. Not actually "solving" them right now isn't all that dissapointing (mostly because I still feel smart because I had figured it out once... or had seen someone do it once... or something). Not getting really frustrated at the harder parts is definetly a plus too (thank god Tavion didn't take dozens of tries this time).

Anyway, having never played any other star wars based first person shooters (man based at least, so I'm ignoring rouge squadron) I must say, I love lightsabers. They did a really good job of giving the player control over how they attack, without making it rediculously complex. Now I'll be the first to admit that it can easily degenerate into button mashing, with varying degrees of effectiveness, but especially with a force speed going on (everyone else gets slowed down) you get the time to actually think for a split second between attacks and really aim them. Most satisfying against other lightsaber-weilding foes, but certainly fun against stormtroopers too.

One of the other good parts associated with the 'saber though is how, especially early on, you aren't a god with it. A good chunk of the enemies use thermal detenators or tenloss disrupters, neither of which you can block with the 'saber and can really mess you up. They aren't impossible to defeat: you just need cover and a couple good guns of your own. It's nice that they can give you the 'saber (awesomely fun to use) and yet still force you to use the variety of more conventional laser guns and energy crossbows. Also, later on, your force powers become strong enough to be able to deal with these weapons without too much cover (unless they ambush you and/or catch you by too much surprise). By the very end of the game, I virtually never use guns: the lightsaber is just too good on its own. It finishes a logical progression from gun slinger to true jedi. The strongest jedi (good and dark) are 99% invulnerable to any and all gunfire, which makes sense and forces you to actually be better with the saber to kill them.

Anyway, what I'm basically saying is lightsabers are awesome, well balanced, and... well... c'mon, its a laser sword, of course its frakking cool. So go learn the ways of the force, and paint yourself a couple dark jedi on your 'saber grip.

Speeches from the Balustrade

2008-04-24T10:37:00.002-04:00

Video games are awesome. Unfortunatly, one needs time to enjoy them. That time is not now, with APs in less than 2 weeks.

But that time is soon.

Anyway, I'm hoping to maybe actually post occasionally again, but as we all know that promise is pretty hollow (I'm thinking hollow as a Dyson's sphere) don't expect anything 'till final exams and gaming marathons start. I was writing a review of paper mario, but it's gotten really long and dry and doesn't really flow/isn't really interesting at all, so it's probably going to get scrapped over time by being ignored. Oh well. By the way, I got a 97 on that paper about diddy kong and mario.

Until next time, fare well, waste time, punish your eyeballs, and tetris rocks (much like jesus).

So... How's Life?

2008-02-13T13:13:00.003-05:00

So I obviously haven't posted in awhile (i.e. forever) and I probably won't again until I'm really bored, gifted with vast amounts of spare time, and struck by inspiration. We all know that basically never happens, so don't expect much/anything until march and I'm playing video games 'round the clock again.

... *sighs nostalgically*...

What? Oh. Right. My point. Well, I've been meaning to make some crappy excuse for not posting (see above) but I felt that I ought to have a decent post at the same time. So, I'll now give you a paper I actually turned in for english class about video games (I'm not kidding, seriously) and... well... read it yourself.

_________________________________________________

Many a group of gamers has at least sampled the variety of racing games for the Nintendo 64. Of my two favorites, Mario Kart 64 is by far the better known, and a staple of the N64’s party options. Diddy Kong Racing, while not as widely known, fills much the same niche. When the time comes to put a racing game in one’s Nintendo, the question plaguing both casual and avid gamers alike is this: is Mario Kart 64 or Diddy Kong Racing the better game?

Both games have many elements in common. They are animated, somewhat tacky 3D racing games, using a combination of well-known and relatively obscure characters as the drivers. Each one has a story mode, featuring computer-controlled characters to round out the eight participants in each race, as well as a multiplayer option for up to 4 human players. Both games divide their courses into groups; four “cups” in Mario Kart and five “worlds” in Diddy Kong. Both also have a bonus section of the game featuring mirrored versions of every course. This involves simply flipping the direction of every turn on the course, but even such a seemingly trivial alteration can change the race completely. However, It is in the details where the games diverge.

In the sheer number of courses available for racing, Mario Kart falls rather short. With 16 courses divided among 4 cups, Mario Kart offers a decent selection. All of Kart’s courses are classic, three-lap races with eight players. Diddy Kong Racing has 20 such courses, as well as four unique arena style courses and six boss races where the player dukes it out with a single opponent on an distinctive, one-lap course. Mario Kart’s story mode forces the player into a single cup at a time, with all four races back to back. Points are awarded based on the finishing order of each race, with the player winning bronze, silver, or gold cups depending on their overall point total compared to the other racers. Diddy Kong Racing is a bit more complex. Every standard race is played twice, once at an easy difficulty, and the second time with silver coins scattered about that the player must retrieve. After placing first in every race, the player must defeat a boss on a linear one-lap course, again at two difficulties. Finally, one replays the four standard races back to back, with a scoring system very similar to Mario Kart. Although Diddy Kong has only two options compared to Mario Kart’s three, both games cover a good range of difficulties, from beginner to expert. Overall, Diddy Kong is far more expansive in this regard than Mario Kart.

Both games eventually reward the player with the bonus of being able to play every course in a mirrored mode. For Mario Kart, the “extra” setting can be applied to single player at the maximum difficulty and to multiplayer races. Diddy Kong Racing rewards the player with “adventure two,” which parallels the original story mode exactly, with two changes: all courses are mirrors, and the computer opponent difficulty is greatly increased. Keep in mind that because the silver coin challenge uses all new locations, this means every standard Diddy Kong course can actually be played at four distinct difficulties between the two adventures.

Perhaps one of the more major differences between Mario Kart 64 and Diddy Kong Racing is the choice of vehicles. In Mario Kart, only a car is used. Diddy Kong Racing, however, also allows the use of a hovercraft or plane on most levels. Basic driving skills must be remastered with each new vehicle. Although a few levels, especially water-based ones, restrict the usable vehicles, the extensive implementation of the plane and hovercraft add a new dynamic to traditional racing that Mario Kart lacks.

The most obvious difference between the two games lies in the item systems. Both games allow racers to obtain items that slow down opponents or aid the user. Mario Kart has generic “item boxes” that give the player a random item, ranging from offensive shells, to banana mines, to boosting mushrooms and so much more. Because of this variety of both weak and powerful items, Mario Kart often becomes more about what items one acquires than about how good a racer one is. In Diddy Kong Racing, players grab differently colored balloons for items. These balloons provide either an offensive missile, stationary mine, protective shield, magnetic pull, or simple boost, depending on their color. The same colored balloons always appear in the same places, causing Diddy Kong to be under much less sway from lady luck. There is still a variety of items because grabbing multiple balloons of the same color increases the item’s power. Mario Kart comes out on top for variety of items, but suffers from one major setback. Mario Kart weights the “random” items to be more favorable to those farther back from first place. While helping the underdog is a good idea in theory, often in practice a single good driver will lead the race until the very end, when a lucky item obtained by a player who has been lagging the entire race upsets the status quo and suddenly negates the first two and a half laps. I have been on both sides of this situation, and even when I win because of it, the victory always feels hollow. The consistency of Diddy Kong races is much better at ensuring that the best driver, not the luckiest, wins.

Diddy Kong also caters to the consistent driver with its “zippers.” Zippers are clearly marked arrows scattered across the course that provide any racer that touches them a temporary boost in speed. Reaching more zippers throughout a race can easily give a good driver a big lead over one less skilled at handling their vehicle. The number of zippers is very well balanced: enough to give a significant advantage to skilled drivers, but not so many as to trivialize items and other driving skills. Mario Kart does use boosting arrows, but only a handful of times, and almost exclusively to propel racers across a canyon or river. Nowhere in Mario Kart can one driver get a boost and another not, assuming neither one strays far enough off the course to be automatically rescued and brought back to the road.

Finally, there is the multiplayer mode of each game to consider. Both games support two human players racing against computers, although Diddy Kong requires a “magic code,” which can be easily found online, to do so. They also both support up to four human players in either traditional racing or battle mode. Mario Kart incorporates four new courses into its battle mode, while Diddy Kong has two battles among its arena courses. The items used in Mario Kart make that game better suited for battle mode, while Diddy Kong is more geared towards the traditional racing style. While Mario Kart lets multiplayer races be done on any course or its mirror, Diddy Kong once again has more options. Not only can humans battle each other in any course, they can also play the four race, point system trophy rounds. A pencil and paper allow Kart players the same option, but who really prefers having to record scores themselves?

Although Mario Kart 64 has a better battle system, Diddy Kong Racing takes first place in every other category. In sheer number of courses, single player story mode, consistent items and boosts, new vehicles and multiplayer options, Diddy Kong Racing reigns supreme. Without a doubt, Diddy Kong Racing is a superior game to Mario Kart 64.

Requiem for Cheese Whiz

2008-01-03T03:27:00.000-05:00

I’m a firm beliver that one can say “life is like *insert anything here*” and justify it. I believe this primarily because a friend of mine told me so, and he then proceeded to explain how life was like cheese whiz. How he did this has long since been forgotten, but what’s important is that it was done. So naturally, in the spirit of my current pastime (which is really all the time), I will give an appropriate example with an inappropriate amount of excessive explanation. Without further ado…

Life is like mario galaxy. You proceed from one stage to another, with each succesive stage only becoming available after the first is completed. However, it is usually necessary to revisit previous stages (with the benefit of increased knowledge and wisdom gained from more recent experiences) to truly master your surroundings. Although you can revist these places, you cannot ever truly return, because the initial problems have been solved, and can never be unsolved to be discovered again like they were in the beginning. Victory, for the traditional goal of pursuing happieness, is arguably reletively easy to obtain, but for most, it seems hollow until every last possible nook and cranny is searched down and explored. Only after this can true contentment be found. Of course, being human, everyone goes back over their memories again and again, reexperiencing as much as they can, but eventually, after enough repititions, all of the passion fades away, and you are left with only the memories of memories, and eventually all will be forgot.

Bouldergeist Daredevil Run

2008-01-01T23:58:00.000-05:00

This boss battle was a beast the first time through. Tough enemy in a very cool arena. I had a good amount of trouble as the last guy to face him, took at least a half dozen tries, but we got through with the clutch help of an overshield. Now, however, we are faced with the daredevil run. This means instead of having 6 life and the occasional coins, we have 1. I took it on first, and with a lot of luck managed it in just under a game over. j_vert took the next round, and it didn't turn out so good. After a long duel of wills, j_vert is currently taking a short break between rounds in the ring to collect himself, relax, get his mojo back. Now OSK is taking him on, and once again the bouldergeist is distinguishing himself as the single toughest boss yet encountered by a longshot. So far we've been blessed with continous progress. Yes, sometimes we've gotten hung up on a single star, but typically that's been just nasty on one player. Everyone has their bad moments, and although we give them some crap for it, we all know that it just takes some time to beat their personal deamons. This guy though, this guy's been beating on us all. Eventually, we're gonna take him down, but he's already done a number on us. It all comes down to good luck and well-trained instincts. It's hard to play really conservatively after you've had a half-dozen frustrating attempts, hence why we practice the breathers. Just taking some time off from the tension can have some pretty amazing effects on performance. Hopefully both of them will bring the smack down and beat this shadow-and-rock creature into the ground.

Major apologies for not posting this for around 24 hours after I finished it. I'll be better about this sort of thing in the future, I promise (please gods of karma, don't make me eat these words).

Hey, We Love Luigi and All, but... Seriously?

2008-01-01T17:35:00.000-05:00

Giant pieces of meat in space = very bad for racing. j_vert had some trouble, but he got it in three or four tries. OSK is having a little more trouble, but he'll get it... eventually. We have faith. On the plus side, he's getting extra lives from star bits, so once he gets it, he's gonna make up some ground on the rest of us, which is going to help a lot with the hungry luma, and future ones too. There, he gots it. My turn XD

Sweet stuff with boos and invisible ground. It's like the zelda ocarina of time invisible ground, except you can't stand on this stuff unless you can see it. It's intense.

Oh, and on a random note (not at all related to the title), we found luigi. He's looking a little thin these days, being imprisioned by boos really didnt do him any good. Holy crap, luigi actually sucks. Allow me to explain: after you rescue him, he goes and looks for stars you might have missed. Sounds ok, maybe he'll open up hidden stars we couldn't get before. So he sends us some mail, saying he's found a star, with a picture of where he is in the level. Naturally, it's basically at the beginning, takes maybe a minute to get there, but y'know, he's probably just going to show us a new launch star, it'll be this sick new star stuff. Oh, what's that luigi? You have the star right here?
... douche.

At least luigi's mansion has been pretty good, 2 other good stars plus a nice hidden one. Actually, the third star is unreal. Nicely long, with a sick boss at the end. Even better, they improved on the lousy kill penalties. Each time you just have to refight the boss, but you need 30 new star bits if you want your overshield, so 3 or 4 tries in, if you still can't get it, it get's a lot harder. Very nice. Aww sick, after you kill him, he comes back! It's like gooper blooper, but even better. Except hopefully we'll only fight this guy once, not three times.
Dual-wield for the win. Man down. Victory is j_vert's.

Twelve... Ten... Nine... Four...

2008-01-01T02:34:00.000-05:00

So, it's 2008... looking around, I gotta say the first couple hours haven't been particular better than last year. Galaxy rocks of course, but it rocked yesterday too, so I don't think we can pin that one on the new year.

Finally, galaxy has produced a truly beastly star, complete with an ice mario and ingenius use of enemies, wall kicks, all with an element of speed. A little frustrating, especially for the first guy (j_vert) but I think it's one of the best yet. On a completely different note, when d-pad targeting, the star bits hurtling towards you are pretty crazy. Not for those with heart conditions, or war veterans with post-traumatic stress.

I must say, the scattered nature of these galaxies is not in keeping with traditional mario, and I don't thinks it's an improvement. Although I love bowser worlds, a game of all bowser worlds just wouldn't work (this isn't nearly as good as that, but it's analogous to the highly sectionalized planets and puzzles). Bowser worlds are the desserts (specifically gumdrops) of the standard world meal (pizza of course). You can't just eat gumdrops... well you can, but it's much better to eat a crapload of pizza first. Some of the galaxies (honeyhive and the penguin beach one so far) are mostly just one planet, but even with that, typically one of the stars is at least half on a different mini-planet, so no single planet has more then 2 stars, and is therefore reletively simplistic and small. No need to really pack stars into small areas, or reuse sections of puzzles without changing them. I've always liked how Bo-omb Battlefield had you run past a chain chomp for 5 stars without making a big deal out of it, and then brought it back for the last star. It wasn't a new addition to the area, it had always been there, it just gained new importance. The galaxies do condense stars somewhat, but only really with comets, which reuse previous stars, with what is quite honestly not a huge change, not enough to really justify a whole new star.

Really, I just miss the large scale worlds of mario 64 filled with stars that you didn't have to get in any particular order. They were all there, the order was there just to give you hints on how to reach a star. Sunshine had even bigger worlds, with even more stars. The areas tended to be larger per star, with more specialized puzzles, but it worked out well because most of each level was still reused, with minor changes at most. Galaxy, so far, has been far too highly specialized for each puzzle. It's still good, but the style is a step backwords from its predecessors.

Now I'm feeling mean, so I will throw this out there: Galaxy has done very well with gravity and 3D mini-planets, and I'm loving the occasional step back into sidescrolling (especially the uses of gravity there).

That being said, I've lost basically all organizational skills, and I'm pretty sure my point rambles quite a bit more then it ought to back there, so I'll wrap this up for now. If anyone wants it, I'll very happily do another longer rant with more specifics (plus more galaxy will let me judge it's content better, we've seen less then a third so far).

We've Got a Lot of Bawls

2007-12-31T02:22:00.000-05:00

I'm quite a fan of ray surfing. Blooper surfing was good too, but the rumble gives ray surfing a significant edge. It's true OSK had some issues, but now we know what a game over looks like (not very impressive, kind of a let down) but he got there eventually. Other then that, which really wasn't even very bad, we've been slogging along at a good pace. Maybe not really fast, but I think that stars take longer in galaxy then we're used to. Now, first bowser world. Oooooh, armored goombas. And baby bowser... ugh. Although I gotta give him some props for a sick robot here. I think I'm gonna enjoy blowing it up XD

Ships get dolphin escorts, mario gets star bits.

I like the next dome's first galaxy, pretty cool setup. But uh... well I don't really have much else to say at the moment. Bawls have been pulled out of their storage (this happens whenever the night gets old enough, we get a little crazy) so expect some strange stuff from now on. Jeez, I actually really like bawls. Tried some of j_vert's bawls, and they were quite good. Smooth, lightly flavored... I can't quite place the flavor, I think I'll have to try some more.

OSK's short term memory is apparently crap when it comes to mario. Then again, normally it's pretty good, so maybe our bawls are distracting him. Can't blame the man, bawls are good at keeping him up, and ours are no exception, just juicy enough, a little sticky... what?

A Snack of Cosmic Proportions

2007-12-30T23:42:00.000-05:00

So OSK is about to face a battle fleet. Not really sure what that entails, but I'm hoping for some sick aerial combat, maybe some alien fighter bombers. Probably not gonna be it, but I think it's gonna be sick anyway. Here we go.

Wow... it's more like he's boarding the enemy craft, and he's pwning with some sick cocoanut rebounding moves. Giant lava and muck creature? Gone like the wind.

So, what's with the beesuit? I mean, I enjoy walking along the furry hindside of a giant bee queen as much as the next guy, but cmon. Ahh, whatever, it's just my beeness.

So this is ending up a little too scrambled, so let's see... udalale udalale, si see sea hey. Oh, and by the way: rushian. Shades! PUT ON YOUR SHADES! Whew. Ok, now spin! sweet.
Oh great. Fuzzy ass again. *sigh*

Even better. OSK died (black holes must hurt) and now we have to go through a fourth round of pleasing the queen bee. Mmmmm. At least we'll get a spaceship at some point.

Well, five (5) stars down. Good progress, I suppose. Much left to do, much left to look forward to. Another... wait... wiggler? It IS you! Dude, it's been ages, I mean, ever since tall tall mountain we've been just great friends, and I know we had some problems on that beach place, but that's behind us, and now, honeyhive galaxy? Seems nice, I guess, if you don't mind the bees. And hey, the family looks great too. Y'know, the wedding invitation probably just got lost in the mail, but I really would've loved to be there.

Speaking of throwbacks, we've got another windmill here. It's nice, quaint really.

The Boy is Back

2007-12-30T21:51:00.000-05:00

Well, here we are, at the brink of a very good thing. I gotta say, Mario's gone for quite the makeover. Toads carry spears, the village gets wasted at the beginning, but just a few minutes later you're playing hide-and-go-seek with bunnies through fields of grass and flowers.
... riiight. They totally weren't on 'shrooms when they made this.

They kept some things the same though. Peach is still a whore (although less subtle now), she's putting out for mario, bowser is owning n00bs with cool technology (flying ships this time). Oh, and we're listening to kick ass music instead of the actual game sounds. Trust me, way better this way. Plus, with subtitles, we really don't miss anything important.

Some stuff done very well so far. Atmosphere on the first little world. They don't always do it, but the other worlds are either artificial or destroyed husks around a black hole... come to think of it, that probably isn't possible. Whatever, it works.
Also, not sure how I feel about the "star bits" and how you collect them, but at least it they're using the wiimote.

Ok, so the star goddess keeps referring to peach as our "special one". Honey, you can be my special one any time, that peach girl? Forget about her, totally not important to me at all. Honestly, I was getting sick of her anyway. On a completely different topic, do you like to bake?

and so it Ends.

2007-12-18T13:41:00.000-05:00

I just got shine number 114, last shine of the run. The last 6 are blue coin shines, and we don't feel like running around all the levels like chickens with their heads cut off searching for them, so we'll come back later for those. I gotta say, 114 shines in 7 days is none too shabby on it's own. I was pretty worried about the red coin chucksters, but it only took 3 or 4 tries, so I guess it kinda got itself a little owned there. Good stuff.

Wow, we've always said that you really can't miss with that dude but... OSK did this: I'm a chuckster! ... void.

Hes got it. Blues traded in , and the grand total is... 114 shines.

And so it Ends.

Full Circle

2007-12-17T23:17:00.001-05:00

And here we find ourselves, back in Bianco Hills, where it all began (if you ignore the airstrip and delfino plaza). Hundred coins here is rumored to be the nastiest, but we'll take it down, just like everything else we've owned tonight... by which I mean this afternoon, evening, and night.

OSK kinda failed a little at the jump-spin-water deal, but he got there.

Yep, he just supersoaked a 'ho for cash. Sweet. Oh yeah, and it's a dude. Forgot to mention that.

Wait a minute... we've had so many issues with yoshi's dying in water, but they can walk a stream or through sprinklers without a problem... riiiight. By the way, yoshi pwns bees. Like no other.

Ughhh... Irving Berlin.

Y'know, this morning we were having some issues, pretty slow going. Slogging through snow, one could say. But we've made quite the comeback, getting all those tougher shines that were giving us trouble, and now, now Bianco Hills hundred coins lies in ruins before our feet. We'll basically in ruins. OSK didn't watch where the shine went when he got the hundreth coin... so now he's searching the level for it. Last time that happened (noki bay) he drowned before he found it. Nice man, nice.

Anyway, only the secret red coins in pianta stand between us and utter domination. And some blue coins (only 58), but that's not as big a concern.

And so this marathon ends, with the final end in sight. There it is!

Poem this

2007-12-17T21:08:00.000-05:00

Mario poetry = worst idea ever.

Anyway, we're rapidly running out of shines to get. I'm thinking maybe one more session, and we'll have it all for sure. But uh, yeah, that's basically all I've got to say about that. Wasume wai... wait... fuck you I won't do what you tell me! Wasoomae why!!

So we have 4 hundred coin shines and 2 secret shines left, plus 68 blue coins. That's it. And we started this how long ago? 5 days.

This is...
a) a tasty burger
b) for you
c) a post that's exemplifies the live blogger's creed: "quantity, not quality"

... then again I really shouldn't joke about that, it's a serious problem in our society.

OSK is apparently "going senile already." Once again, his words not mine. *sigh*

We're the renegades of funk. He's a chuckster. Did you know that? He may be small, but he never gives up. Sounds way to disney to me...

A hundred is a lot of coins. Like a LOT. grr.

Gold birds are shines, blue birds are blue coins, red birds are red coins, seagulls are annoying, and green birds are... gold coins? Huh?

100 Shines

2007-12-17T19:50:00.000-05:00

100 shines, the hundreth being 100 coins. Oh yeah (Cool-aid guy style).

Cuz we're too Intense to do This more

2007-12-17T14:14:00.000-05:00

Damn the noki bay boat. It sucks. Really frustrating to use, and only for blue coins, not a shine, so while one feels accomplished if one's luck is good enough to get them, it's kina like, oh, just a couple of clue coins... meh. Expect more on this as OSK continues his attempts to get the first blue. And even later, when we both come back for the other blue... ugh. Not thinking about that. Or the minor blue coin inconsistency we have. Ok, OSK got it, so that's good.
Now, onto the secret levels with red coins. These... are gonna suck. Not all, some will be outright easy (I <3 the water pack) but the noki bay one... will destroy me.

So hundred coins in sirena beach is gonna take awhile, what with the dueling with gossamer ghouls for it. *jeopardy theme* jeez but this is taking awhile. Wow, if OSK doesn't get it on this try, I'm going to kill him. Seriously. Jesus... reading this I know none of you realize how long it's taking, but trust me, it's taking freakin forever. Ok, after god only knows how many songs (including bascially all of a half hour album) he's finally got it. Methinks I'll do a different shine for this one...

Ok, so naturally OSK died with 99 coins. Nicely done sir. So we're trying a different shine for it. Let's hope this one does better.
Hmm... it's not looking great fun. There should be enough, but not by a very large margin, which is annoying to say the least. Uh oh. 99 coins again... *sigh*

Ok, so we gave up on that, and OSK's doing a secret level red coin shine. Unfortunatly this one is a bitch too, and he's been going long enough that the frustration is throwing him.

______________________________________________________

Ok, so I'm back after a couple hours (I know, I know, not "live" enough) and we've made very little progress. We've hit the tough ones kiddies, and the goings getting's tough. What do the tough do? Get going of course. And we'll do just that, once sunshine lies beaten and bloodied on the floor. Gotta teach the punk a lesson.

Ok, last bit here: OSK is "trying to get friendly" with a tree... his words, not mine. *sigh*

Vertically Challenged Marathon

2007-12-16T14:23:00.000-05:00

So it's clearly going to be a sick nasty hard set of red coins... until we find one just sitting on the ground in a completely random place. With a blue coin too. Seriously, did you guys run out of ideas? Couldn't stick it hidden in some random spot that was at least kinda clever? Guess not.

So yeah, we begin again (though not to continue for long this time) with the last named star, followed by some investigation/exploration in the plaza, finished with the hundred coin stars. It's gonna be good. By which I mean painful. And time consuming.

Hmmm... this "fluff festival" is highly suspicious. Especially with the fluffs leading to clouds... that go nowhere, and have nothing useful, certainly not the red coins we're searching for. Now, we suspect the fluffs are superfluous entirely. Or maybe not. A few more lives should hopefully show us the way.

Or maybe not. We're still kinda clueless. Now OSK is relearning the finer points of gravity. Sweet man.

Well, that marks the first full album done. What have we accomplished? Well, we've found all of the red coins. OSK got hit by some essence of pwn though, so he's on take 2 to try getting them all at once. Anyway, I do have to give him major props for lucky camera angles. He saw the shadow of a red coin on giant leaves without seeing the coin itself. Also, props to both of us for the last coin. OSK for the assist, calling that they would totally be those guys who put the coin on top of the grating you hang from, and I followed up with spotting the coin itself, and the idea on how to get from below to above. So yeah, what I'm trying to say here is, we rock mario like bowser rocks peace. Wait. I take that back. That could never work.

Ok, so the shine appeared over past the wisps, so they did matter. A sick shine, but tough.

Holy crap, mario pinball is amazing! Like SO cool. Dude. Yeah. Mario pinball. And OSK is getting owned by it. He's getting better (slowly) but it's starting to be pretty ugly. He's actually running out of lives (remember way back when he milked that secret level? Yeah, those rolled over, and they're mostly gone. Ouch).

Ok, it's getting legit bad now. As OSK himself said, "it's really frustrating." Straight from the horse's mouth. They tell me that's a phrase... not sure I believe them, but whatever. The point is, I think we've found OSK's tower secret level. Ok, so OSK finally got a game over (after 12-15 lives or so), and then I got a try. 2 words: first time. I was right, his tower secret level through and through. But now that he's seen it done, it should go more smoothly. Ok, much better already. Yep, he's got it.

Ok, noki bay hundred coins now. Ugh... I'll speak of it not.

Durian? What's a durian? ... Goooooal?

2007-12-15T23:45:00.000-05:00

So OSK gets the sick snipe of a pipe in the hills during the final cutscene. Secret level (kinda a strange one too...) with a "red bird of happieness"... okay... well there's a lot of random shit in this place, but we gots it.

It has been decided: supersoaking the bananas is just wrong. Let this judgement be passed upon all who supersoak the banana: you're weird and creepy, and a serious problem in this society.

OSK fails at throwing bananas. The man just has no hands, no hands for the bananas. Instead, he carries grocieries for old fat ladies. Umm... yuck.

I don't geel like talking about it in a bunch of detail (at least right now) but the sewer/manhole system is pretty cool. Oh, and the sick shades and tropical shirt we just got. Mario's styling now.

Hey the airstrip Ms are back! ... with regular coins. Talk about a letdown.

Ugh, swimming with the boost is hard to control... mesa no like. Blerg. Ok, I'm losing coherency. Looks like the smack down is gonna end this marathon pretty soon, but no worries, we should get another good session in tomorrow (I love the 12 hour rule). Until then, wear your tropical shirts and shades with pride. Mario does.

Cuz Im Housin'

2007-12-15T23:02:00.000-05:00

Bowser just ate it. Boo. Yah. Actually it was pretty pathetic for the first bowser. Or the last. Gave me some trouble anyway (he does have a habit of doing that) but I took him out in the end, despite 3 glitch deaths. It's actually a really fun shine. That's right, they give you a shine for beating bowser. C'mon, isn't beating him reward enough on it's own? It's really just a cop out for another shine, kinda disappointing in that sense. But still, kick ass level. Like I'd go back for fun, which needless to say, doesn't come up with the last bowser in supermario 64. If I go back to speed run that (which I probably will) I'll consider not even facing him, he's that irritating (and yes, hard).

Ok, time to help OSK with the boat (another really fun part, kinda my best skills at mario with that). As fun as the main bowser fight is, the level leading up to it is even more kick ass. It's amazing. Too short, since you only get the one, but still amazing. Wow, with my directions (thank you kyaking experience) and OSK's mario handling skills, the blue coins in lava are getting rather pwned. I'd love to see a mario master (by which I mean other mario masters of course) try to speed run this part.

Wow, I just got reminded how weird and trippy bowser levels can be. The bowsers (baby and classic) and taking a sauna-like bath in poisonous green goop. Oh and I have to give props to the amazingness of the boost pound. You actually glow red as if you were re-entering the atmosphere. Yeah, it gets you that high up. But anyway, I have dubbed this move the "pwnstick", as in "this is my PWNSTICK!"

Glitch kills are such crap. Seriously. Get it right game designers. Jesus, OSK just ran off the edge. I know I know, I've been pwned by secret levels before, but seriously. Well ok he's also getting glitch killed more, but still, he's doing a little worse then me already, at least in average distance gotten before death. Now's he's trying a new method to not gall off the edge... it's working well. He might get it this time, or certainly one of the next 2-3. Oh yeah, his extra lives roll over, so he's still got over 20. Ok, he got it. Way to be OSK.

Mario: I did it all Peach...
Peach: For me?
Mario: no... *turns to baby bowser"

for you

This is the part where you blog

2007-12-15T21:07:00.000-05:00

Epic, part II: The Continuation

So here we are, at the edge of another night of gaming. Supposedly, people are trying to actually get us to sleep this time. Yeah, we'll see how that goes. Anyway, a little background. Today, after far too little sleep for vacation, I dragged myself out of bed, to go help out and make some money. Turns out, this was the best job ever. I got paid great money for a reletively simplistic job, that really didn't take a lot of work (and I didn't even have to work with people too much). So, after a short respite at home, including a 2 hour "nap", I'm back for another go again. I swear, this is the best life every. It's basically the shit. But I'll stop making y'all envious and start talking about mario again.

So, we're cleaning this eel's teeth. It's actually rediculous, he's going to be all happy like and he'll stop polluting the water if we just clean his teeth. After you get it, it reminds you to "remember to take proper care of your teeth!" ... ugh. It's revoltingly family oriented. OSK's kinda not doing so great, he's running out of easy coins to get air back, but I think he'll get it. Heyo, eaten by the eel. Ok, he's got it. Sweet.

Also, a little while ago, we found this nasty blue coin. You have to go to a random, though granted pretty important at other points, on a specific shine (actually several might work, but we're sure some don't) and spray the ground with water until a shine outline soaks through and out pops a blue coin. It's like, what?? Seriously, nintendo is cruel. I'm sure there are so many blue coins like this that we're missing, and finding them is gonna be absolute hell.

Oh and OSK is also kinda getting owned by a wire-riding mario-chasing thingy. Normally he's good with these, but we didn't realize it chased him for a little while. Still, a couple jumps there were pretty pathetic. Holy crap. We just discovered a pair of linked blue coin wall symbols. They weren't there before. Jesus. Ok, OSK got a little more owned, but he's in... god I love secret levels. The genius of it all.

haha, OSK just as much as admitted that he's "handling mario". lolz.

Ok, this secret level is intense. Like, so much more so then any before. And it just won't end. Jesus! He made it! Holy crap. Ok, my turn at the grinding wheel... this is gonna hurt.

Lucid? Say what?

2007-12-14T07:46:00.000-05:00

Ugh. Giant chain chomp turned gold? ... ok. Sounds completely normal to me. Giant mushrooms underneath the city? Fly to them on a pink dinosaur? Leads to a land of odd blocks suspended in air with people populating them? Ok. Got it. What's next? Getting chucked long distances by said strange people in said strange land? ... sounds dangerous...

56 shines, 119 blue coins. There is some doubt as to how much blue coin shines cost (5 or 10... we're pretty sure it's 5) so we could have as many as 80 shines now. Granted, probably the easiest 80 shines, but considering our experience level, familiarity with game, etc., that's pretty damn impressive, especially considering it's only been about 42 or so hours since we started, of which we've spent... I have no idea how many hours we've spent actually gaming. Coming up on 20 for today, including occasional breaks (less than an hour total). So it's been pretty intense. Basically.

OSK doesn't handle chucksters too well. Granted they're pretty nasty, anything shy of perfection and mario is hurled into oblivion.

_______________________________________________________________

Ok, so now it's more like 9:30 a.m. Hmm. Guess I haven't looked at this in awhile. Well, whats new... we've run out of easier stars completely. We found an absolutly cruel hidden shine on the beach. Turns out the blue coins are 10 to a shine, so we've actually only got 71 shines right now (we cashed in the first half of the blue coins, got 7 left over). I'm approaching 24 hours straight awake, and I'm still doing pretty good. Pretty strong going. At this moment, OSK is raping the second secret level for extra lives (somewhere in the neighborhood of 20) before taking another shot at the yoshi island hidden shine. It's nasty in every way, but we've got the first 4 coins down pat pretty much, and almost the extra life too. He's pretty good about getting that, but although the second half should be easier (excepting the jump one) I'm cautiously optimistic at best. We'll see how it goes.

Shines > hallucinogens

2007-12-14T04:52:00.000-05:00

So 5 a.m. is rolling by, and we're still going strong. And for that matter, so are the squids, they're really enjoying themselves, and hey, from the back now. Hot. Literally, some of the dudes are on fire. Don't joke about that man, that's a serious problem in our community.

SHINE!

Oh, recent discovery; there are at least 210 blue coins, but we only need 120. So yeah, at some point we'll go back and get the rest of the blues, but not necessarily straight up with the rest of this. So yeah, mario designers are beasts.

Beasts also in the shadow mario stars. The dude can be just plain devious, and nasty to track. We've actually just resorted to restoring game sounds in order to track him better (as you get nearer, the music changes). Wow... so this is why we normally mute it. Jeez, he's frickin hard to keep tabs on, even with music. Probably because there are ghosts hidden as fakes all over the place that activate the music (we think). Damn he's a slipperly one. Startin to get on me nerves here. That's right fatass, run. Run from the water. Ha! Supersoak that ho! SUPERSOAK!!!

Sweet shine man. Sweet shine.

Ok, quick post edit here. They're this sick, the designers. A reletively random crate, the only one in a room that otherwise all the crates just give you fruit, give you a coin. But when you come back later, its got a blue coin. Holy shit.

Plumber turned Dentist

2007-12-14T00:37:00.000-05:00

So OSK got asked to clean this giant eel's teeth while underwater, and it got kinda hellish pretty fast, so like all difficult shines so far, we're just avoiding it and doing something else. Which is turning out kinda hard too... and maybe not even possible. Joy.

Wow. So we got there, and found a sick secret level. Tough one too. Sweet opportunities for hover skillz too. Ok, he got pwned, but whatever. Also a chance at some sick supersoaking skillz... which, unfortunatly, OSK apparently lacks. He'll get there, it might take awhile, but he'll get there...

Right, so it's been around 20 minutes, and he's no closer.
... *sigh*. Can I get a bounce?

Ok, so we gave up on both, and hit up a new level. It's actually a really fun first shine, cool concept. Pretty tough, but good and fun. Plus it's finally not sunny and mid-day. Now OSK is getting a stab at it, having some issues like I first did, but once he's adjusted to the fighting style, I think he'll be fine. Yep, he gots it.

Hmm, invisible ghosts. Fun. Now, bringin back classic mario, complete with destroying blocks directly above you by jumping. And OSK just did a me-worthy fail on a spinning gear. Ouch, your pride. Oh, also there's some wall kicking up to block bashing. And I didn't mention the block pounding, temp blocks, bouncing on enemys to jump farther, it's amazing. Tribute to the classics. Oh and on that note, one level is reached like this: after awhile, a bright light shines in a column in one area. Stand there and look up at the sun, and you'll dissappear and be in the level. Sound familiar, my rabid supermario 64 players? Yeah. It's kinda a cool throwback. Hell, we've even got 2D marios scrolling in the background.

Uber Intense Ruins

2007-12-13T22:57:00.000-05:00

I'm loving this new level. It's full of ruins with secret passages, with oodles of blue coins. It's been names "blue coin heaven"... although I'm not sure why blue coins need their own heaven...

Holy shit, this place is literally riddled with secret passages. It's amazing. It's intense. Awesome. Amazing. Sweet. Cool. Sick. Spectacular. Nice. This place... yeah.

We're actually starting to think maybe there are more then 120 blue coins, and eventually they run out of shines to trade you for them. If so... jesus. They're either geniuses, or... mad scientists. And not the misunderstood ones, the evil ones that develop superweapons to destroy the world so they can remake the social order. Yeah. Those ones.

Supersomersault that platform. Jump dive? Jump die? Meh, tomato tomato. (thats toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe, for y'all unable to hear my thoughts.

Ok, jesus, this place is frickin HUGE. What? Gooper fuckin blooper?!? AGAIN?! Talk about a twist. It's getting pretty intense, like even more so then before, and the number of easy coins around him is worrying me... he's already harder then before, but is more coming? And...? Pwned. Mario > Gooper blooper. That is all.

AHHH!! OH GOD MY SKIN IS MELTING OFF!!!!

2007-12-13T19:44:00.000-05:00

Above quote courtesy of buddalicious.

So at the moment we're basically murdering pink newly born yoshis over and over again. We need an orange one, but it just won't hatch that way, so we're killing all the ones we don't want. Which is most. The screams aren't that bad, what with the main volume muted and angry music on in the background. I'll have no problem sleeping tonight.

Secret shines suck. There are two in every level (of which there are 7) and there are zero clues to where they are. We know where the first level's secret stars are--
Ok OSK is being dumb. Whatever, it happens. Probly misses his purple yoshi.
-- ok so we know where the first two secret stars are, but we're rather clueless about where any others are. So, naturally, we're ignoring them. Like we're ignoring the hundred coin shines. Basically, at the end, we're going to hate mario sunshine.

And now... we can't remember where two blue coins I got are, and OSK needs to find them. This is not good. Oh wait, nevermind. Turns out he thought he'd gotten one, but he hadn't. And then I remembered where the other one is. And now OSK is getting pwned by fish. Jesus... he's actually getting killed by fish. It's kinda embarrasing. Not quite rolling-logs-of-doom-with-koops embarrasing, but getting there, and our expectations are higher for him. Cuz he's better. Ok, new camera angle, and he's... THERE!! Sweet. Moving on.

So there's this sweet webcomic buddalicious brought to my attention a little while ago... y'all might enjoy it. I'd post it as an image on it's own, but blogger isn't liking me (and never really has), so I'll just give you the link. So... here it is.
http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=59

Enjoy that. XD.

Sand and Sky

2007-12-13T13:13:00.000-05:00

Just kill yourself, seriously. Emo kids should never play sunshine. It's way too happy. Beaches, "shine" sprites. You even yell SHINE every time you get one. It's very happy and bright with sunshine and ponys and rainbows! Ok, not sure about the ponys, although supposedly we'll get yoshi, and he's kinda like a dinosaur-pony (after all we do ride him), and I figure at some point we'll probably have a level in or on a rainbow, so it works.

Sick! They brought the pipes back! Awesome. And a crazy sick slide. I love this game.

Ever wonder what would happen if you stuck a giant water-powered rocket on mario, had him hold on to a tightrope, and then activate the rocket? The answer is simple. You go zipping around really really fast, and then mario gets thrown off and pwned. hehehe.

hmmmm.... giant watermelon. And needlessly cruel looking juicer. Like seriously, it just looks evil.
And now OSK is supersoaking a shadow 'ho. He just said "come back here, I need to squirt you" or something like that... which is doubly wrong cuz its a shadow version of himself, which is awfully close to incest... or he's self soaking, which is also kinda disturbing.

mmmm... soon we shall dine like the jews on christmas.

Phase 1 complete. Procedeing to stage 2. Code yellow, mark.

2007-12-12T23:20:00.000-05:00

Gamecube graphics rock. I'm kinda loving the surface water texturing, it's pretty kick ass. That and the world entrance graphics. They pwn. Unfortunatly, those will be my closing remarks on the night, as midnight approaches and recall commences. So far all ye well, and I shall return tomorrow, with even more epic pwnage of and by mario the beast man, conquerer of Peach's castle, rightfull ruler of the mushroom kingdom, holder of the Sacred Caps, plumber extraordinare.

Maybe not so "Family Friendly"

2007-12-12T19:55:00.000-05:00

So OSK just finished distrubing a creature so he could pull off its legs and nose...
but anyway we also just finished getting owned by a couple of secret levels... and now after my shift, I just got completely owned again. More so then last time. Like we're talking 10 minutes, quite a few tracks, and like 15-20 lives. It was brutal. I died a little inside. A lot outside, but a little inside too.

But what else is going on... well not much, what with most of the time being spent getting owned and all... so yeah. Time to rant. I know I don't get a lot of gamecube action and all, but I honestly don't like how it handles. Everything just feels a little... off. It can be hard to halt forward momentum, reflexive counter turning tends to be really excessive (and therefore typically deadly), its kinda like its excessively smooth, but in a short of slipperly, hard to control way. It's like using a mouse that doesn't stop when you stop moving it. I'm sure that it's mostly just a lack of hours spent on the gamecube, but it's still not only annoying, but really frustrating when I'm getting owned.

hehehe, blooper riding. They're funy looking.

Vacation! Wait... what?

2007-12-12T15:16:00.000-05:00

So mario's a-goin on vacation with peach. And then there's this funky... pollution? I'm going to go with funky gloop. Rainbow gloop. ugh.

Anyway, the intro took like 5 tracks... each time. That was fun. But we've begun (up to around 10 shines right now) so it's going good. Other then my pathetic showing in the first secret cave that is. But we aren't going to talk about that here. I'd rant about shine sprites again, but it's all been said. They suck.

I'm loving the audience here though. They probly won't last (in that the cool ones are all going back home) but we'll stay here together in solidarity. Ok, it's actually a good thing some of them are leaving... but I digress. Mario. Right.

Ok I take it back, shines are not quite as bad as fat ass plants and sludgies.
Oh and there's another countdown. 120 blue coins. Jeez those things are EVERYWHERE. It's kinda crazy, not to mention hard to keep track of.

Secret levels= amazing (ly hard, but still amazing). If galaxy is these over and over again, its gonna rock. Wee trippy space levels, with nothing supported, but we still have gravity! Hold on... there are trees here... how does that work?

Ok, go time for me to go back to the grinding wheel. Until soon.

The Final Countdown

2007-12-12T12:02:00.000-05:00

120 stars. 8 days. Which will hit zero first? Only time will tell.

And so it begins...

I am but a candle in the wind.

2007-12-10T22:18:00.000-05:00

The cosecant's connected to the cotangent's connected to the radius is connected to the cosine is connected to the sine is connected to the secant's connected to the tangent's connected to the radius is connected to the other radius.

Citing of quotes goes after the double flying commas, but don't forget to just put author's last name and page number, no abbreviation for page, and for god's sake don't use block quotes when a couple sentences will do. Get a rough draft in before hand, but use every last minute you can spare to study for the tests. Right! the tests...

Reconstruction went through 5 different plans, culminating in congressional reconstruction, which gave its death call with the compromise of 1877 and the election of republican Hayes to the presidential office. Don't mix up the Homestead Act and the Morill Land Grant act, and for that matter remember to look up which is which.

2 days... must survive 2 more days without leaving bad take on dumb bone song as only legacy...

Fact Time Revisited

2007-12-09T00:07:00.000-05:00

Last time we looked at the number "five." This time, despite there being 3 days left, we're going to talk about something completely different.
Specifically, we're going to talk about wikipeida.

Now I could go on and on about wikipedia's usefulness for early research, general knowledge, arguement resolving, etc., but instead I'm going to look at wikipedia's long, often twisted history.
Wikipedia is the modern day library of Alexandria, so despite being founded just shy of 7 years ago, their history is truely 2300 years old. Near the beginning, China attempted to block the insidious encroachment (the political efforts were supposedly due to the encyclopedia monopoly's bribing of government officials). Despite the great country's efforts, wikipedia plowed through them in a mere 2 weeks. A little over a year later, China made a second attempt to force wikipedia out; again failing. As of today, it is widely acknowledged that all of China is in fact under indirect wikipedia rule, and rumor has it that by 2010 it will be renamed the "Republic of Wiki."

Officals responded with this: "Wikipeida is great. All hail Wikipedia."

Faith

2007-12-08T23:02:00.000-05:00

Hi. I'm here to talk to you about jesus.

ahahahaha. But seriously, I'm here to talk about faith. Faith in others. Faith in jesus. You see, there's less then an hour left in today, and all of you concerned readers (yay plural!) must be worried. Will jesus return? Does he even know the day it is? Does jesus take saturdays off? Just imagine what would happen if jesus didn't show up today. Despair would reign, but those with faith shall not despair, for they know that jesus will always be with them.

What this all comes down to is my ground breaking announcement: the first coming is nearly upon us. I'm sure you're wondering how you have faith in jesus before the first coming. The reason is you're just that faithful. So keep the faith, and you will be saved.

-The Prophet of Jesus

First Coming: 4 days.
Second Coming: 22 days.
Spiritual Fufillment through video games: priceless

Fact time

2007-12-07T14:53:00.000-05:00

So I was thinking about the number 5 just now, and I realized I know very little about it. It's always just kinda been a number to me. Of course, I can't leave that be now (mostly because I'm bored) so I did some research, and here it is:

5 (five) is...

thought to be the only odd untouchable number,
in base ten, the 1-automorphic number,
one of only two prime denominators of vulgar fractions that can be written as decimals without infinite repetitions.

Also, the roman numeral for 5 is V, which comes from an outstretched hand (okay...),
5 is the lightest atomic mass for which no stable isotopes occur for any element, and
Five is also the number of days left in the countdown.

But just for kicks, here's a list of dude's who did something that five fits in to (solution, set, pairing, whatever)

Fermat
Mersenne
Wilson
Eisenstein
Fibonacci
Pell
Markov
Perrin
Ruth-Aaron
Znám
Sierpinski
Abel-Ruffini

... mathmaticians have some strange names...

Totally not a countdown

2007-12-06T08:53:00.001-05:00

So, this is not a countdown post. It is, in fact, exactly the opposite, which is to say it's definetly a post about something else. Really, I'm serious. More serious than Al about man bear pig for the first time. So, you know, super super serial.

One Week, Mario style

2007-12-05T12:39:00.000-05:00

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a bo-omb
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, your mom!
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my cap

It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air
and said "mama mia"
Five days since you jump-pounded me
I've still got grass stains in both my feet
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault
I put in the correct electrical signals
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait til you say "let's a go!"

Abiugcnsps

2007-12-04T08:30:00.000-05:00

8 days...

Countdown Redux

2007-12-03T09:42:00.001-05:00

9 days...

(shout out to j_vert for the idea on this one. The man's a genius, I just don't know how he does it.)

Countdown

2007-12-02T14:26:00.000-05:00

10 days.